“Don’t whiz on the Alamo”

On Wednesday February 4 2014, 23 year old resident of El Paso, Texas, Daniel Athens plead guilty to what has become known in Arizona as a Kozachik. Athens’ target, The Alamo, is sacred ground in Texas.

The message from Bexar County District Attorney Susan Reed, “don’t whiz on the Alamo,” she said in a statement that added she would oppose any request for probation.

Daniel Athens, 23, pleaded guilty in a San Antonio court on Tuesday to the felony of Criminal Mischief of a Public Monument or Place of Human Burial, which carries a punishment of up to two years in prison.

Mr. Athens’ Lawyers are working diligently on a plea bargain with prosecutors, who are seeking 18 months in prison and drawing a line in the sand for a sentence that includes jail time.

Athens was arrested in April 2012 after an Alamo Ranger, one of the police officers who guard the state’s No. 1 tourist attraction, saw him relieve himself on the 260-year-old limestone facade of the building.

As part of a plea deal, Athens will have to pay $4,000 to repair any damage he caused, which as you will see later in this article is a reasonable deal.

The Alamo was constructed in the 1750s by Spanish colonists as a chapel to bring Christianity to the native peoples of what is now Texas. Known for the 1836 battle between the Mexican Army and Texas settlers fighting for independence from Mexico.

Further research revealed that Tucson City councilman Kozachik and Mr. Athens are certainly not the first to feel the call of nature and, not knowing where the nearest gas station, resturant or hotel is, decide that relieving yourself on a nearby nearby wall or statue at the Alamo seemed like a good idea.

Unfortunately, in the middle of the afternoon, with people around, it’s a good way to get yourself in trouble, and that’s what happened to Ozzy Osbourne in San Antonio, Texas on Feb. 19, 1982.

To compound the situation, the statue Ozzy chose was the Alamo Cenotaph, which commemorates the Texans who died at the famous battle during the War of Independence in 1836. The monument, erected 100 years after the battle, is adjacent to the Alamo, which is considered to be sacred ground and a symbol of Texas pride.

Osbourne was arrested for public urination and intoxication. He was released on $40 bond, which was posted by Jack Orbin, who was promoting Osbourne’s concert at the HemisFair that night. A riot ensued at the concert.

The combination of the two events caused Osbourne to be banned from San Antonio by the city council. Ten years later, Osbourne was pardoned after he donated $10,000 to the Daughters of the Republic of Texas, who maintain and manage the Alamo, which is one of the most popular tourist attractions in Texas.

Criminal Mischief of a Public Monument or Place of Human Burial is a state jail felony and carries a range of punishment of 180 days to 2 years confinement in the state jail facility with a fine not to exceed $10,000.

Athens’ case is set for sentencing on April 14, 2014, at 9:00 a.m. in the 399th District Court before the Honorable Ray Olivarri.

Alamo CenotaphBexar CountyDaniel AthensDistrict Attorney Susan ReedOzzy OsbourneSan Antonio courtsteve kozachikThe AlamoWar of Independence