Kaepernick is a whiny, insignificant, foolish simpleton. I do not respect him, I do not agree with him, I do not give two squirts what he wants to say.
Jeff Utsch’s insightful yet scathing shredder in Wednesday’s Arizona Daily Independent masterfully cut Kaepernick down to size. Outside the confines of a stadium or a game, Kaepernick has every right to speak his mind, and we have every right to ignore him or to counter:
Black lives do. All lives do.
Black Lives Matter doesn’t.
Not only is Colin Kaepernick an idiot and a fool for his brash, impudent, offensive gesture toward the flag and toward the rest of the country, he could extend a middle finger toward the Stars and Stripes and the shame wouldn’t change. In a way, he already has flipped the bird: He has set a terrible example for children. Kids playing in youth leagues and school-sanctioned games have started to mimic Kaepernick. How far we’ve fallen.
So let’s tear apart the system that feeds this idiot’s ego, and give the fans something better:
The NFL and sports broadcast networks have already seen viewership plummet in response to Kaepernick’s short-sighted, nitwitted, childish display. Let’s take viewership down to zero. Next weekend, don’t watch football! Instead, go outside and throw the pigskin around yourself. Those neighbors of yours who also turn off the game can get in on the fun with you.
Next weekend, don’t go to a game! Get a meal at a locally-owned restaurant—one that doesn’t have TVs tuned to the NFL—and instead invest the money you’d have spent on seats, snacks, and souvenirs.
Either way, when they’re kicking off the game that you would otherwise watch with most interest this Sunday, step outside, put up a flag, and gather the family to say the Pledge of Allegiance for all to see.
Let’s get truly serious: Based on details from various sources, Americans spend about $4.5 billion dollars on fantasy football annually, and the NFL will pay about $3 billion in player salaries this season. The 75+ million Americans who plow dollars into fantasy leagues could financially cripple the NFL, buy every player, and start a brand-new league.
Stop watching, stop going to games. Start a Kickstarter project to get all the fans on-board, and exchange the funds spent on fantasy sports for shares in new franchises in a new league. Who needs to buy into a fantasy league when one can own a piece of an actual franchise?
Here comes the fun part: Once the fans own the league, cap the players’ salaries.
Look, once Kaepernick opened his vacuous mouth, the fans gave truth a voice as well: He belongs on the bench until the 49ers can get out of his contract. This joker gets an average of $19 million a year per his contract to get exercise for a living. The rest of us actually have to work. He gets paid to keep fit, and he still plays no role in scoring points for his team. I guarantee you I’d be an Adonis if somebody paid me even $10,000 a year to exercise, offsetting my loss of income from taking time off work to work out. Nobody is worth $19,000,000 a year, $1,583,333.33 a month, $52,054.79 a day, $2,168.95 an hour, $36.14 a minute, every minute of every hour of every day of every month of the year, playing, sleeping, eating, staring blankly into a corner, or trying to figure out how to perform rocket surgery.
Should the New Football League incent the best players based on performance? Absolutely! Should the New Football League get rid of players who do not advance the sport, much less the ball? Absolutely! And should the fans get a tangible share in the dividends? Oh, yeah, absolutely, without question!
So cap the players’ salaries, and let the New Football League make donations to every school district in every state earmarked specifically for bonus distributions to high-performing teachers. If any district lowers teacher salaries to compensate, or attempts to use those funds to boost administrative salaries, those administrators get booed and shamed at halftime and those districts lose every penny.
Those dollars that remain after helping the schools? Every fantasy player who bought shares of the New Football League gets a dividend. Keep the competitive and strategic fun of the fantasy leagues alive, and make sure the fans who own shares in winning franchises receive higher dividends.
Not only do those shares pay dividends, they convey ownership and truly give the fans a reason to cheer. And the bylaws of the new league—now owned by fans who want to watch football as a respite from bitter political vitriol, instead of wanting to insert faltering players into the debate—will ensure that no single individual or organization may hold more than one round lot, 100 shares. (Write it into the organizational documents, and get a crafty legal team to make it stick; this one’s important.) This ensures that franchise ownership remains in the hands of the fans, and not concentrated into 36 families and corporations.
While we’re setting strict limits in the bylaws, let’s send a clear message to the feeble-minded meatheads like Kaepernick who want to make a platform of the game: Not only will all employees of the New Football League adhere to the same flag etiquette prescribed in military codes of conduct, without exception, the playing of the Star Spangled Banner will immediately follow the public and plenary recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance at every game. Any player or other member of the staff who fails to show due respect to the flag will be fired on the spot, and forcibly ejected from the stadium to the stabbing sounds of the crowd’s harsh jeers as the “Commie Cam” on the jumbotron shows the now-former staffer landing face-first in the parking lot.
Football is a high-dollar industry. This is an opportunity to give the fans real ownership interest and to protect the inherent patriotism of American sport. And to rebuke Kaepernick for disgracing the League. Boycott, then buy it up, fire him, and tell him to blow his protest right out his wide receiver.